Self Compassion
Hi All,
Happy New Year! It’s been a while since I wrote, but here we go! Let's start off strong! I still haven't formalized my intentions yet! I usually wait until my birthday is over haha!
Today, I want to talk to you about a recent health incident in my life that has been teaching me self-compassion as it is something that has been defining who I am, but first, what is self-compassion? Self-compassion is extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Kristin Neff has defined self-compassion as being composed of three main components – self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
Being extremely healthy for the most part in my life, and basically having no health issues, I was surprised to wake up to extreme pelvic pain, to the point that I felt like I couldn’t walk for 5 days or eat. I didn’t know what was going on with me and honestly, it struck me as rather confusing. After finally giving in and going to the doctor, I was diagnosed with two rather common female issues: endometriosis and fibroids. These issues happen when the tissue that lines your uterus grows outside your uterus, causing severe pain in some individuals, like me of course. Fibroids are a noncancerous growth in your uterus that causes pressure and pain. Though these health problems aren’t uncommon, I felt very upset about and wondered why these things were happening to me in December? I was very upset as to how I could take care of myself better and understand what to do better? Feeling very down in the dumps, I listened to a podcast on self compassion, no joke, and at that moment, I started practicing self-compassion, which means being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we fail rather than being self-critical. I worked on telling myself that it’ll be okay, that I can be even healthier through a stricter diet and more vitamins I felt. Then, another thing, also happened. My doctor gave me a medication that was making the problem worse, that caused intense mood swings, is causing weight gain, and intensified my vitamin D deficiency. I criticized myself for not asking the right questions of the doctor and taking his recommendations. Anyway, I told myself again, I must practice self-compassion. I told myself that I will ask better questions next time, and always wait for a referral.
The next thing I had to practice was common humanity. At first, because many women, I find, don’t talk about their health-issues, I felt practically alone, and a bit embarrassed that these issues happened. That’s what common humanity is supposed to help with, realizing you are not the only one suffering your issues. I then I did some research and starting joining support groups on Facebook for my side effects for this problem, and I felt a lot better knowing other women were experiencing the same issues of weight gain, mood swings, and restless leg symptoms and more. I didn’t feel all alone for once.
The last thing I had to practice was mindfulness; I always thought mindfulness is something yogi’s and the truly enlightened do, to be honest. Having a clear and peaceful mind seems like something distant and magical, but really it is something different. Mindfulness is really looking within ourselves and understanding our negative thoughts and feelings, but not being swept away by their negativity. Every time, I weighed in with my trainer and worked out and realized that my weight is not being lost due to the medication side effects, I had to tell myself that this will wear off, and be mindful of trying to keep a positive attitude when feeling negative, and that I should try other methods of diet control to help along the weight loss to balance my hormones.
As you can see, self-compassion, is getting me through suffering through my doctor’s poor medication choice and the side effects, and is defining me as a stronger woman. I hope that this shows you a little bit about me and how these little things can help define me as a person.